How to Find Favor with Others



How to be liked

The best way to become a person that others like is to develop qualities that we are attracted to in others.

(Mat 7:12 NIV)  So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.

This is often called the Golden Rule. If we would like others to show concern for us, then show concern for them.

Think of people you like. What made you attracted to them? It may be different things in different people that attracted you to them. As you list them out, try to develop each one. Here are some areas you would probably want to develop in yourself.

Encourage others

People will like you if you constantly encourage and complement them.

The Bible mentions one such person, and his name is called Barnabas, which means “son of encouragement”. At that time the church was in need of finances. He encouraged them not by his words but by his act. He sold his property and gave the proceeds to the Jerusalem church (Acts 4:36-37).

When the early church was not yet ready to accept Saul, a new convert, who was previously a persecutor of the church, he encouraged Paul by willing to accept him. He introduced Saul of Tarsus to the Jerusalem church (9:26-27). The church chose Barnabas to go to Syrian Antioch to investigate the unrestricted preaching to the Gentiles there. He became the leader to the work and secured Saul as his assistant.

Appreciate others

People like to be appreciated. Jesus set an example for us to follow when he showed His appreciation for what others did for Him.

(Mat 26:7-10 NIV)  a woman came to him with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, which she poured on his head as he was reclining at the table. {8} When the disciples saw this, they were indignant. “Why this waste?” they asked. {9} “This perfume could have been sold at a high price and the money given to the poor.” {10} Aware of this, Jesus said to them, “Why are you bothering this woman? She has done a beautiful thing to me.

Jesus appreciated the things others do when most would not even notice.

(Mark 12:41-44 NIV)  Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. {42} But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a fraction of a penny. {43} Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, “I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. {44} They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything–all she had to live on.”

Compliment others

Jesus did not withhold compliment when it is due.

(Mat 8:10 NIV)  When Jesus heard this, he was astonished and said to those following him, “I tell you the truth, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith.

Forgive others

Nobody likes a person who bears grudges. A gracious and forgiving person is well liked.

Jesus drew in large crowds because He does not condemn us. He is gracious to extend His forgiveness to those who will repent.

(Mat 9:10-13 NIV)  While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and “sinners” came and ate with him and his disciples. {11} When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and ‘sinners’?” {12} On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. {13} But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”

Accepting others as they are

(John 8:3-11 NIV)  The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group {4} and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. {5} In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” {6} They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. {7} When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” {8} Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground. {9} At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. {10} Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” {11} “No one, sir,” she said. “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

Jesus made a good point with this incident. We are not qualified to condemn others if we too are in sin. Nobody would like to be near someone who is always criticizing him or her. Learn to accept people as they are.

Listen to others

(James 1:19 NIV)  My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,

People like someone to listen to them. Even when we do not have good advice to give, just being there and listening to them will cause us to be appreciated.

Show concern for others

Jesus attracted large crowds of people to Himself because He had genuine concern for people. He went about meeting needs.

(Mat 9:35-38 NIV)  Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness. {36} When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. {37} Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. {38} Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.”

What will make people dislike us

The things that make someone dislike us will be the opposite of those things that make them like us. In addition, we can add some of these below.

Pride

(Prov 13:10 NIV)  Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.

Deceit

We cannot really be friends with people who are always telling lies. Because there must be genuine trust before true friendship can develop.

The Bible speaks against lying.

(Prov 12:22 NIV)  The LORD detests lying lips, but he delights in men who are truthful.

(Prov 19:5 NIV)  A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who pours out lies will not go free.

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